Where Is My Mind

I haven’t podcasted in a while and it’s not because I haven’t  wanted to. Since my last episode things have been a bit of a struggle for me.

My Fiance hasn’t been well and is struggling to look after two fairly new conditions and my mum has been going through her treatments for breast cancer.

Whilst these things have been playing heavily on my mind I’ve also been struggling in numerous ways but one of the main struggles has been stress. Stress is horrible and even when trying your best to fight it, it’s still there reminding you that you’re struggling. I’m also an Anxiety sufferer (I have been now for 14 years) and due to the recent heavy amount of stress without any kind of rest from it, it in turn has set off my anxiety and panic disorder. Over the pass month I’ve manage to get help and settle those symptoms down but there’s still some symptoms due to the stress that have left me struggling health wise.

With me being so stressed it’s trigger my immune system and in turn for well over a month I’ve struggled with IBS like symptoms this has weakened me a lot and I’ve now found a new friend in Imodium which is doing it’s job lovely for my stress stomach (I’d been checked by doctors and nothing was wrong). Due to my weakened Immune system I may have also given myself a mouth condition called Lichen Planus, this I will be soon having tests for at my nearby hospital, where they will be checking me for an deficiencies, my immunity and to confirm it is this condition which there is no real treatment for. In the month of November I also injured my hip due to tensing the muscles in my back my hip came out of place and is fairly uncomfortable when I go to walk as I used to as a way to de-stress. So over the passed few months I’ve burdened my mind with worry for others health and my own to the point of despair, upset and panic.

I’ve not been able to focus my mind on anything else and the amount of doctors, hospital and now dentist visits have just been insane I’ve never had to go so much in my life. Due to all the worry my crafting has taken a hit massively I’ve barely knit (I’ve done a bit here and there). I’ve had only two finished objects in two months and they were hats that took me a week or a few days to churn off the needles. The most excited and immersed I’ve been was near my birthday and I churned out my newest sewn skirt but then since the following weekend I’ve been ill again with colds and feeling very run down and struggling with low energy. It’s a roller coaster of up and downs.

I will get to back to podcasting at some point but I believe it’s probably best I take some time to look after me and take it easy on myself and aim my focus on my crafting and getting better. However it does give me a chance to share what I’m doing via my blog again to give you all updates on how I’m doing and what I’m making, rather than keeping you in the dark 😀

To the Two lovely ladies who won in my Harvest Hat Kal last December those prizes are still with me and I do aim to get them to you unfortunately it’s not at the front of priorities at the minute and once I’m feeling better I will make the effort to get those out to you and I’ll message you when I do. Sorry for those delays (I 100% understand its been a while, but you’ve not been forgotten).

I hope you will all keep in touch with me and my viewers I hope you understand. I love you all and the Ravelry Group for Killtocraft Podcast is still open for chattering and sharing what you are creating right now.

Thank you for understanding and I’ll be nattering with you all soon. XxX

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3 comments
  1. Roobeedoo said:

    Oh honey – look after yourself! That’s the most important thing. Be well!!!

    • Thank you Hun – I’m certainly trying to, need to get things back to normality a bit. ❤ xx

  2. Judith Owbridge said:

    So sorry to hear you not well,I always love your podcasts .hope you are soon feeling much better.met you at skipton wool fare with louleigh my daughter out -law ,looking forward to seeing you back.x

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